Places I have fainted because of menstrual pain!

Newspaper ad for The Cramps from 1988
  • in the shower
  • sitting up in bed
  • in chemistry class, moments before the fire alarm went off. I was carried down the stairs firefighter style by a gym teacher and a friend as 1500 teenagers, teachers, and other staff filed past. Then I threw up in the parking lot in front of all my classmates, teachers, and friends. Then they took me away in an ambulance.
  • in the stairwell at school
  • in a friend’s bathroom
  • while seated aux toilettes (Listen there is just no other way I am comfortable saying it! I tried it all the ways. They all sucked. I’m turning into my grandmother. Moving on.)
  • my doctor’s office
  • a hospital
  • a sexual health clinic
  • a gynecologist’s office
  • anywhere someone could have recorded medically relevant data that might have been able to help me
  • exercise
  • walking
  • rest
  • heating bags and ointments
  • herbal tea
  • wine
  • vodka
  • yoga
  • sex
  • Aleve
  • Advil Liquigels
  • Extra Strength Midol
  • Tylenol 3
  • a drug store brand concoction with pamabrom and caffeine in it that I got at a convenience store in rural Maine
  • 2 types of prescription pain medication
  • mindfulness
  • witchcraft
  • weed
  • prayer
  • sunshine
  • total darkness
  • therapy
  • naturopathy
  • sleep
  • positive affirmations
  • force of will
  • 9 types of birth control pills
  • the birth control patch
  • the Mirena hormonal IUD
  • no birth control at all
  • crying/screaming
  • swimming naked in the ocean
  • living alone with the wolves



hydrated. medicated. educated. kinda faded.

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